Turning to Peace

I have a song on my website that never fails to soothe me, or calm me, or make me more fully aware. I sometimes sit here with my headphones on just listening to the song, hoping it will sink in with enough listenings. Peace.

Peace? What does this word mean? Content? Happiness, joy, satisfaction? And an end to the restless stirrings of my heart, manifested by a funny little dyskenesia in my left foot. My Left Foot used to be my favorite Daniel Day-Lewis movie, about a man with cerebral palsy who paints beautiful works of art clutching a paintbrush with the toes of his left foot. Funny how my left foot is still part of my life, doing its own dance. So I take another half dose of sinemet, hoping it will hit my bloodstream soon so I can have patience for my next group of struggling, off the wall students.

Do they feel peace? Do they know how they are failing? Do they realize their families and even educational staff pretend not to see the obvious signs of say, asperger's or autism, or even simple mental retardation? Do they know two of their teachers will not be returning, got a RIF notice this week? Do they understand the burnout rate in this school is high, for a reason? On the report card for the state achievment test ( called the WASL) that their school scored at the BOTTOM of all schools in the district? That the trend has been strongly negative and it feels like rats are fleeing this hellhole of a ship. Starting with the head rat, the principal...

I am soliciting on my own, funds for a couple of kids to attend a summer sleep-away camp this year. I think there is something really healthy about getting out into the woods to play, grow up, learn how to make new friends of all colors, and off the addictions of Gameboy and WWE and Wii and Nintendo and Halo and Playstation, etc, etc. I do this because I know how camp can transform a kid's life, and I want these boys to experience this.

At least, I pray, that some good will come out of this year. Perhaps this will not be the turning to peace for me, perhaps it will mean some of my students will know peace on their first ferry ride across Puget Sound.