My left foot is dancing, as it will at times, curling, bunching, cramping toes, rubbing the inside of my black loafer. It has been a stressful day with students blowing up outside in the hallway, the prinicipal closing her door and the teacher ignoring the students. My office lies dead center between the principal's office and the special education classroom full of emotionally disturbed, troubled children.
Rumor has it that there are lawyers involved. I just keep my nose down and work, try to manage what I can, and stay healthy and balanced. My room is way too small and some of the students come in here, bouncing off the walls. I can only control what is within my little office, and even then it is an uphill battle.
I made an appointment for a tune up of my neurotransmitters. I think it's dyskenesia (uncontrolled muscle spasms) that I am experiencing, which would imply too much dopamine in my brain. Yet I am feeling more tremors and dystonia (cramping) of my left hand, and my balance has been off (more stumbling, staggering) which would imply too little. So I am hoping my team will be able to figure it out, once again. This is easy to hide, but I do wonder what my colleagues think when they see me walk?
And in a stressful, unsupportive environment, it surely doesn't help anyone, much less someone with the "fragile neurons" and wacky biochemicals of Parkinson's Disease. Still, no matter what, I am happier here than when I was home last year. Even on hard days, I feel I made a difference to someone.
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