I fell asleep slowly last night after reading Gabor Mate's "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" accounting of addictions in Vancouver, BC's street people. It is fascinating to think of the effect of dopamine on addictions; I would love to have a sitdown with him sometime to ask his opinion of what the effects of Parkinson's Disease would have on addictions, how medications interfere with reuptake of biochemicals. and what he would advise as a psychiatrist. I am so much better being home this summer that my DBS can be adjusted to levels never as successful as this before. My tremor is gone, my distonia, even my thinking seems clearer. My gait and balance are nearly normal so that I can go full days without a nap and this physicality is very helpful to my overall state of mind and quality of life. I like this change and am just enjoying living in the moment.
Occasionally I relapse, but then I check in, and usually find I havent eaten, or had enough to drink, or had enough sleep the night before. I am not going out much any more; not dating, just staying home with the dog, cat, two canaries, and usually Steve, who is perfectly happy hanging out with me. Though I have yet to develop romantic feelings for him, he is a good guy who takes care of me and my girls and pets with great patience and loyalty. We are more like best comrades than lovers, which at times feels like I am settling but at other times I feel it's ok. It's stable, and maybe stability with Steve is possible because of who HE is.
In any case I am finding I want to KISS (KEEP IT SIMPLE) rather than complicating matters.
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