So I am a tad scared about this 205 mile bike ride this weekend. I have only served as support team for other people riding it, including my ex husband Michael and my ex fiance Steve. There is a fair amount of gadgetry to a bike, and my fine motor skills are not what they were.
Add to the my fatigue and balance issues, and you got yourself a challenge! Which is, I keep reminding myself, the reason I signed up for this ride in the first place.
Sports psychologists tell athletes to visualize the event before starting: visualize moving with speed, dexterity; practice a strong finish. So I'm trying to think about riding over the finish line 205 miles away and I'm seeing myself crying. I hope its in joy, not in pain and/or frustration.
I find myself missing Steve and yet I have decided to channel my considerable anger at him by dedicating every hill and every pain I have to him. This is my dark side, and I have been working on accepting it and moving on. He is a heavy burden to carry and yet I know if I am to move forward, I must leave him. \Thinking, writing and avoiding him all mean I'm still carrying him. I hate that I am doing this. It is not good for me or my ability to attract potential partners. It will happen someday.
Until then I will ride it out on my bike, like the Wicket Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz. lol
